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New for You! Dating Someone with Disabilities
Categories: Dating, Pen Pals, Friends: Cyber Dating, Member Surveys, Relationships: Singles
This Post has been viewed 20715 times.
Submitted by: Nannette | View Member Profile | View Other Posts
Created: 1/20/2003
At the time of this writing, 200 of our members have Major disabilities. 708 of our members have Minor disabilities. About 60% of our members indicate they are willing to date a person with disabilities. Approximately 50% of our members are willing to meet someone with major disabilities.
Members were asked: Are you willing to date someone with disabilities? What kind of conditions might there be on that statement? Do you think it makes someone less of a Christian if they are not willing to date someone with disabilities?
Female - Age Range: 21-30
Yes,i would date someone with a disability-it depends on what you call a disability anyway and being a christian should mean we do not judge a persons body by illness or the fact some part(s)of it do not work properly,i have a minor disability but would be conseeded as major to some and previous experience tells me that lots of christians will not get involved because of my illness(s)so it can be very frustrating as i am a person like any other!!!.Personally i think we should all look to God to find our perfect partner and not lean on our own understanding of what is a perfect person in our minds-we are all perfect in God's eyes because of what His son did for us.It will be intersting to see the results of lots of christians and whether they would date people with disabilities!!!!!!!!
Female - Age Range: 31-40
Having a disability myself, I would date someone who also has a disability. It is no fun being judged because of how you are or how you look. We need and deserve love just as much as a healthy person. Be honest with that person right from the start!
iamreddy4luv:
Female - Age Range: 31-40
You may use my alias.
I am willing to date someone with a physical disability. Not out of pity either, but because the Lord will have knitted our hearts together. I see no problem with it. The Lord blesses us in many ways. I have known a number of couples who are married with disabilities involved and they seemed to be at peace and deeply in love with each other. Keep up the good work guys.
Female - Age Range: 31-40
I would not date someone with a disability.
Female - Age Range: 31-40
It does not make someone less of a christian if they are not willing to date someone with disabilities. We are free to choose who we will spend the rest of our lives with, and our lifestyle may not be able to accomodate someone with a disability.
I would consider dating someone with a disability, but of course it depends on the nature and severity of the disability. I do not want to spend my life nursing a man.
Personally, I am dating a man who is severely nearsighted in one eye and the vision in that eye cannot be corrected. His other eye has a contact lens that compensates and overall he has 20/20 vision with the correction. As he grew up, his brain was 're-wired' to receive different images from each eye. But if his good eye were to become damaged, he would be legally blind. That is the chance I take in being with a wonderful man who is great in every other way. We are planning to get married, and if he should lose his vision, I will be his eyes! I am prepared for that.
He has a disability but he is functioning well and his disability does not slow me down.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
I think people may not know how they would react to a person with disabilities until they know the person...and even meet them face to face. My last boyfriend was a VietNam veteran and he had lost one leg below the knee in the war and the other leg was fused at the knee. We talked alot online and on the phone before we met. I was nervous about the meeting because I had no idea how I would react to him, but it went perfectly. If you had asked me two years ago if I would want to date an amputee, I would have probably said no, but now I know that would be fine. Just my opinion and experience. No judgement of any one else. We all have things we can and cannot handle, and whatever each of us brings to the table in personality and physical body, there will be some people who are fine with it and some who are not. Not rational, oftentimes, but that is just how life is. Just part of the challenge of finding the right person.
Hiergnd:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias. There are a lot of variables to this situation. I think one important consideration in dating a person with a disability is, 'Do they live up to their ability and potential, or have they become comfortable being dependent on others?' (Someone without a disability could also fit that category). In my profile, I said I would accept someone with a major disability because I did not want to eliminate a person who may become a good friend, even if I would not get serious with that same person. I appreciate 'quality' friends, and I believe that many people are 'friendship' material, but very few are 'marriage' material. The most important aspect for me is if the person is a strong and committed Christian. People who have experienced significant hardships, such as those with a disability, have often truly learned to depend entirely on God, and have had opportunities to personally experience God's power and miracles in their lives. I would value that aspect. With that being said, (remember the 'friendship' material vs. 'marriage' material), :) I can't say that I would get serious with someone with a major disability again. I was once in a relationship with someone who was on State Disability. I talked to my pastor about the entire situation, and he very kindly asked me two questions. 1). Can you afford to support another person? (He knows I'm a single mom). 2). Do you think you would grow to resent the situation over time? The answers to both questions were obvious. I know this is a sensitive topic, and before any disabled person gets upset about that last part, I want to add that the person I was involved with lived up to a 'minimum' of his potential. The pastor suggested that it would be different if I were already married to him, and he became disabled; however, in this situation, I had a choice, and it would probably not be wise for me to take on the financial and physical burden in this situation, especially with having two children to care for. After a lot of prayer and contemplation, I had to agree with him.
I really believe the situation of both parties would have to be considered. Are they compatible in their lifestyle and motivation? Personally, I'd rather be with a motivated disabled person than a healthy couch potato.
By the way, referring back to another recent survey, a comment was made that if a female looks at a males profile more than once, most likely 'she IS interested.' This will refer back to 'shopping' in Food-4-Singles Market. I want to give another perspective. I may pick up a box of crackers at 'Vege-Mart' to see if they have lard in them, and I discover they do, so I put them back on the shelf. A couple weeks later, I am shopping for crackers again, but can't remember which brand I turned down, so I read the ingredients again. Again, I put the 'lard' crackers back on the shelf. I've accidently opened profiles twice, either because I didn't remember them, or worse, when I am trying to scroll down and accidently hit the 'featured' member's picture, and nearly panic as I realize this person now believes I'm interested. That's my two cents....'Food 4 Singles' has interesting items, but just because I see the same person shopping twice, doesn't mean I want to be in the check-out line with them. :) Thank you for all your work here. It's lots of fun, and a good way to unwind at the end of the day.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
Yes, I would date someone with a disability. God has placed us all in different 'packaging'--life would not be as wonderful otherwise. Most people think of someone with a 'disablity' as being visible from the outside--blind, speech impediment, wheelchair bound--but some of the most handicapped people in life are those who are emotionally, spiritually, or mentally handicapped. While Jesus wants us to be physically whole, healing in this area is not always granted this side of heaven, ...teaching us compassion and long suffering. Yet, Jesus grants spiritual and emotional healing at our invitation of Him into out hearts. A miracle of new birth, a new mind is granted to each one of us at our acceptance and acknowledgement of Him as our Lord and Saviour. His love then works in us to make us new creatures--sons and daughters of the Most HIGH GOD, ambassadors for the Kings of Kings, Ruler of all Heaven and Earth. I am physically disabled and do not know if physical healing here on earth will be granted, yet I am truly free and whole in Christ!
Hawai'i 007 :)
Female - Age Range: 41-50
I would date a disabled person as long as that person was able to be mobile,either by self or wheelchair. One that loves God as I do and is in God's will. I dont think it makes you less of a christian to date a disabled person , but the are just as special in God's eyes as anyone else is. Who knows if you don't take the chance to meet them and find out about them , that my be the perfect match for you. You just never know what God has instore for you, to test your faith, to test your devotion to him. But as a christian , you should look upon a christian disabled person as your brother or sister , and be there to lend a shoulder, kind words of encouragement, then we could all have that warm fuzzy feeling all day long. Being disabled myself I find that I want to only be involved with other disabled people, because I am not afraid of them , and they are not afraid of me. But all of us have some type of malfunction in our lives, otherwise none of us would be divorced,or single, hot tempered, mild tempered. God made us this way for a reason . I can do God's work either from my couch, the church pew, or my wheelchair. I can love a person just as much from my wheelchair as I can running a mile everyday. So look deep into our hearts , we are special Gods children too.
kathleens:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias.I am disabled. I can't imagine being compatible with someone as a prospective spouse unless they too have an ongoing permanant illness. I get extremely few responses, but I expect that, and that does not bother me. I would much rather get fewer responses than get more responses with just more of a chance of disappointment down the road. I do not at all think it is not Christian to not want a relationship with someone as a prospective spouse who has a disability.If I had the time and energy I would love to start a dating service solely for Christians with disabilities, so that we could attract more of us and therefore more easily find each other.I know of only 2 dating sites that are only for disabled folks and those who are open to dating them, but I never see any Christians on those sites.
Thanks for asking this marvelous survey question.In the event that it has brought me to the attention of someone, disabled or not, who may be interested in getting to know me as a prospective date, let it be known that I doubt that you could ever find a more possetive, upbeat, and funloving disabled person than me.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, and I have a great deal of respect for those who are living life with dignity and responsibility--and joy--in spite of a disability.
But quite frankly, when someone who is dependent on disability income writes to someone who has a good job, it raises the question of just what it is they are looking for....
I personally am not interested in becoming someone's caretaker or 'sugar mama'. To me, a healthy relationship is a partnership between two people who love each other and who both contribute to all aspects of the relationship.
And that is not to imply that everyone with a disability is looking for a caretaker, or that it is not possible to have a healthy relationship where one person is disabled. But I think its really hard to sort out those issues on line.
Female - Age Range: 41-50
I work with elderly and disabled adults and would never consider dating one because I realize the work in caring for a disabled person. I think it is unkind to let then develop romantic feelings for you. I feel a good friendship can work as long as both now that is all it will ever be, because they do enjoy outing and being as normal as possible. I feel this kind of outing is everyones responsibility as a christian.
LindiBelle:
Female - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias. Since I have a disability of sorts, I would like to say that people with disabilities are just like any other people.
It is true that care of the person where needed, and accepting that some activities cannot be carried out, are factors in the relationship.
But so much depends on the person's way of dealing with the disability. If I do the best I can, without selfpity, honestly accepting what I can and cannot do, there is no reason why a wonderful relationship cannot develop.
Most everyone has something that is difficult for the other person to deal with... people in 'perfect health' may have some other problem, that is equally difficult.
I believe that a positive attitude towards life, and honesty with each other permit a warm and wonderful relationship, with anyone.
I would hate to limit myself to the loss of a soul mate, just because he limps or is blind. The joy of loving and sharing with him, would far out weigh any problems involved with limping or not seeing.
I had 2 cases of massive thrombo phelbitis, which means that all of my main circulatory system is destroyed. It is difficult for me to hike, and I cannot walk more than 3 or 4 miles at a time. There are other complications.
But... I am willing to leave the hikers off, and go to the end of the road and have a hot meal waiting when they get there! I can also go part of the way, and enjoy the pictures of the rest of the way... and I love adventures!
So... I don't see this as a reason to not have a wonderful relationship with a man who is sports oriented.
Kansasflowers:
Female - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias. I am one of the many members who does have a disability. My disability is not noticable but after chatting with members who ask about it they flee as if I might be contagious. But I'm not! I just happen to have inherited some lousy genes from my parents, that's all.
Yes, I'm willing to date men with disabilities and made some wonderful friends. Do I have conditions on dating others, perhaps worse off than I am, well that depends on whether we 'click' or not. But I would never miss the chance to make a new friend or to chat with someone different than myself. I don't think that those who refuse to date a person with a disability makes them less of a Christian but it does say a lot about their willingness to accept those who are different.
Perhaps by reading some of these comments others will come to understand that a disability does not make us any less of a human being. God Bless to each of you who take the time to read this!
Female - Age Range: 51-60
I dated a man with disabilities once. He was a wonderful man, he treated me well and I loved him and then he died. I am glad that I had the opportunity to know him, I feel I am a better person because of it. I think we have to take a person as an individual and not set too many boundaries in that department unless we want to miss out on some wonderful blessings.
Female - Age Range: 51-60
In answer to the question:
I have dated three men with disabilities, both physical and emotional disabilities.
One in a chair, the other with a dibilitating disease process. The person in the chair changed girlfriends, like some people change socks.
He was certain it was the chair that was the problem. This was not true, it was his ego.
Interestingly, I don't believe it is 'unchristian' to date someone in or out of a disability.
Many people, who appear 'normal' mentally, are NOT.
Having dated people of both categories, physical disabled and 'walking' people. There are more people emotionally broken, than the physically broken.
I believe it would be more of a challenge to date/marry someone with mental disabilities than the physical.
Maybe the next question should be: Is it less of a Christian to be not willing to date the mentally ill?
shosha:
Female - Age Range: 61-70
YOu may use my alias!!Greetings To All..I am willing to be penpal or friend or dating companion and let The Lord lead ..accept some disabilities like hearing loss , or a disability that does not stop the person from living a full life..within the means.Sharing and e.mail pal is fun and encouraging..I have traveled and lived in most states in the U.S.A and Europe..seek same race..
God Bless and your e.mail or messages are welcome..
I will be a prayer partner also..Rejoice we have a awesome God.. Rom. 8:28
Female - Age Range: 61-70
Disabilities can cover a very broad spectrum. Some restrict daily living and make it difficult to enjoy a complete life or relationship. Other kinds are just part of aging and are controlled or managed in a way that one doesn't notice nor does it severely restrick activity. I would consider the person and the circumstance before crossing him/her off the list of possible mates. For some reason, the very word disability sends many running in the opposite direction and that is too bad. Many wonderful people are living with a disability who have much to give and share.
Female - Age Range: 61-70
A person with a disability doesn't mean that they may be totally disabled. Check it out first from the person with the disability to find out just what the disability is for sure. I have a disability muself, but that don't keep me from being active. I just can not walk fast, I have to have A/C and stay away from the hot sun.
Female - Age Range: 71 plus
Yes ,I would date someone with a disability.
As long as it is not a major one(can't walk or talk.)
Somethings of that nature.
I don't think it makes a person less of a christian if they prefer not to date someone with a disability.
It's their choice, I would think..
JoshK:
Male - Age Range: 21-30
You may use my alias.
I'd be willing to date girls with certain disabilities. It really depends on the individual. Is she happy and well-adjusted or bitter and carrying a chip on her shoulder. Her missing an arm, a leg, or an eye would be no problem for me to deal with. I had a teacher in grade school who had lost an arm to bone cancer. At first I always noticed, but in a very short period of time I hardly ever thought about it at all. Now, someone who is missing both arms, both legs, or is paralyzed would present a much greater challenge. I think there is a danger that a relationship between such a person (if they require a lot of help) and a fully abled person could evolve into something unhealthy where the abled person takes on a parental role and the disabled one starts to feel patronized and resentful. There would also be significant issues in the 'bedroom' (after marriage) with a paralyzed person. Both parties could become frustrated. As for a blind or deaf woman, I think I could deal with that, but I also think such a woman might be happier with a similarly disabled man that would know just what it's like and share in the subculture that such people often thrive in.
I don't think its necessarily unChristian for someone to not date a disabled person. If they honestly couldn't handle dealing with X disability, may as well be up front about it. No, life isn't fair to disabled people. Or to anyone, actually. That's called the sin problem. Fortunately we have the hope of Jesus' soon return!
Male - Age Range: 21-30
We are all disabled, we all come short of the glory of God, we are not God`s. whether we have great bodies lor great minds, it is the grace of God which gives us peace which passeth all understanding and surely peace can descend irrespective of our finite bodies.
If God has decided to make some one physically disabled and sends that one as your child or partner or your ownself take it as a responsibility given by God, as a challenge for he chose you to bear it and he has a purpose behind it, your unfailing faith in God irrespective of your disability is a miracle which would give courage to many seemingly able persons.
Some christian forsake their abilities for the Joy that awaits above.
All challenges can`t be met by every christian, We`ve got to run for a life time, so to calculate the cost is no sin, to pay it is gain above, to keep away does make us guilty, atleast lets feel guilty, it would make us better christians with indepth compassion.
Once again let me say we are all disabled unless our Lord Jesus enables us.
Male - Age Range: 21-30
Since I do have a disability (not that anyone's going to pick up on it unless they watch me read or try to look at something in the distance), I am interested in seeing the results of this survey. Personally I don't think it makes someone less of a Christian if he or she chooses not to date someone with a disability, or at least no worse than choosing not to date someone because that person isn't good-looking enough, and that happens all the time. Some people just have a set of qualities that are desired and a disabled person does not fit into that mold.
That being said, I think that if people don't want to date someone with any type of disability, they are missing out on some good people who have a lot to offer. I'll admit, some disabilities could provide some major challenges in a relationship, and each person should thoughtfully decide on what he or she could handle, but there are some that really shouldn't be a deciding factor in whether or not to have a relationship with someone. Unfortunately, I know from experience that some people are uncomfortable around disabled people or just do not know how to interact or treat someone who has a disability. I know I've gotten 'written off' many times due to my disability, which is pretty sad considering the fact that I've done more things, gone more places, and been more successful in life than a lot of 'able-bodied' people. Anyway, there's my 2 cents.
Len6845329:
Male - Age Range: 31-40
You may use my alias---
I would love to hear the hard truth from Christian women? Could they imagine being in a relationship with a born again man, who has walked on canes for 25 years? I feel I live a full life without jogging and football. Only a woman's heart knows what she needs and wants in a man? My physical challenge is just one of many we all face! I am overblessed, I've seen up close far worse infirmities, and wonder why God has given me so much! My days of self pity are long past, Praise God! I can relate when God told Paul (My Grace is sufficient for you) concerning Paul's thorn in the flesh! If I never marry, it is good! If I do marry, it is still good! In closing Love to all, don't try to figure out God, Trust Him, Run the Race, Endure Hardship, it will make sense in Glory! Thank You for allowing my thoughts! May God watch over us all! Any comments will be cherished....
Male - Age Range: 31-40
No, i know it does not make you a less Christian if you prefer not dating a person with a dissability. I think though that you should be careful about not hurting them as well as you should be careful not hurting anybody!
It does not mean that they are less worth, but just that they have a dissability.
I would always let God lead and thats the most important thing...I do believe I could be as happy with one that has a dissability as one who doesnt have that.
But personally I would not be able to handle it I think...Im a very outgoing person and loves to hiking and do all kinds of things outdoor where I dont think a person with a dissability would feel comfortable being there.
But we must always remember that God loves each one of us, no matter how we are!
Male - Age Range: 31-40
I do have a problem with that because I am deaf and many ladies have checked my profile here but never even bother sending me any e -mail because of it so that's a problem for me so i felt hurt and were treated like nothing here! very few ladies marry deaf man about less than 1 % marry deaf man so it is hard on me and i have not found any ladies here in this site since join hewre a few months ago! i prefer any ladies who want to view my profile should send me e - mail asking me questions first before ladies decides to whether or not to get involved in dating!! I don't like playing games in this site so I hope one day I will find one!! thank you
Male - Age Range: 31-40
If it is God's will, then he may send a disabled person to me to care for and love. I have an autistic daughter and when I left her disability off my profile, I got twenty responses in a week. Since I've included it, I've gotten four in a month.Her setback makes a big difference in people's minds. Yes, I believe it makes you less of a Christian if you are that shallow.We are supposed to be selfless and serving,and no, cop-outs about how the disabled deserve someone better or you are not equipped to deal with it don't wash. If God calls you to something He will equip you. I think the sixty percent positive response is a little shaky, and is about as honest as most of the pictures in the profiles.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I believe that first of all we need to remember that
we are talking about a REAL PERSON - who HAS a disability of some kind. The person should NOT be seen as being an embarrassment because of having a disability.We need to be willing and able to see past the disability in order to understand and relate to the individual,inside!
Jesus expects and Commands us, to love people - eg:JnC13vs 34,35;Matthew C22vs37-39, but this does not mean to say that we are expected, by God, to form close and long- lasting relationships with every person we meet.(Jesus had only three close friendships -according to the New testament scriptures:Peter, James and John).
I believe that although we should love and accept People with disabilities as friends;as regards forming more romantic attachments: God allows us some degree of choice,but with that choice comes the responsibility to be guided by Kingdom values and attitudes,rather than worldly ones.( For example- Godly Wisdom,Agape(selfless love,Not judging people by the outward appearance alone -2 Corinth'S C5vs16,17)
I am willing to treat all people with disabilities with God's Love and respect, and be friendly to those with whom I come into contact. As far as dating is concerned, I honestly have to admit that I would be able to be a good friend to people with some kinds of disability - more easily than others.
Having said this - I believe that each Child of God needs to be Sensitive and obedient to the call of God on their own life: we are all called to walk a special,and unique path.
Following on from what I said about treating every person with respect - whether they have a disability or not - I believe that we should not come under condemnation about the issue of whether we choose to
develop the friendship, or not.As long as we allow God's LOVE to influence the way we treat others - we do not become a better/worse Christian by dating a person with a disability.(disabilities)
Finally, being someone who, since childhood, has struggled against a disability, and seen, by God's Grace, a radical improvement in my skills: having overcome 90% of my difficuties - I would say two things: (Please see profile -topaz7)
Firstly, that not every disability is visible.Visible ones can include someone with severe Autism, Downs Syndrome or speech and language difficulties, - some conditions are less obvious -eg Dyslexia,Dyspraxia; to name but two.
Secondly- PEOPLE CAN CHANGE/IMPROVE ( CONTRARY TO PUBLIC OPINION/MYTH)WITH GOD'S GRACE -INCLUDING HELP/SUPPORT FROM FAMILY,FRIENDS AND PROFESSIONALS!
Having a disability does not necessarily prevent a person from leading a satisfying life, or achieving success.The attitudes of an individual/other people towards them are much more likely to affect his/her chances of success.
Dating a person with a disability: I would be guided by compatability in character,and interests.The person's spiritual walk with God would, and should,influence my decision - above all other considerations.
CHAMPION:
Male - Age Range: 41-50
You may use my alias. Being a person who has a disibility I would welcome other 'healthy' women as a potential date. I think however that one of the reason's I don't date much and am not married is because of my disibility. When they learn of of how difficult the disibility is most women run and run fast!! I recall in most marriage vows that the mate promises to be faithful in sickness( notice sickness is mentioned first?)and in health. Not all women, or men for that matter can accept a person with a disibility. Whether that makes them 'less of a Christian' is for God to decide. I recall a famous quote (forgot who said it) 'We are all temporarily able bodied in this life. Sooner or later we all become disabled in one form or another. We can become 'spiritually diabled' and never see it.'
These two poems expressed how I felt when I was dealing with my disibility in it's earlier stages.
THE NOSE KNOWS
The nose knows when we use chemicals polluting the air.
Do we stop and think, 'Now is this fair?'
When we rob the air of oxygen it starves the brain,
Result: Visual distortions, hallucinations, anger, insane?
Many will say, 'Get used to it!' But do they really care?
Or is their motivation for using chemicals a greedy affair?
Throw away your chemical odors that smell worse than a skunk!
Get rid of that junk!
The nose knows because it's our first line of defense.
It's a reputable line of recompense.
The nose knows what appears to smell sweet,
But it's mixed with chemicals that can kill the body and sometimes the soul.
Get out of your stinking hole!
You have dug it out of your own ignorance greed and lust.
Give it up! It's a bust!
The nose knows when something does not smell right.
It makes me angry enough to fight.
Fight for my right to breath clean air,
Please stop fouling it with your 'chemical soup.'
The nose knows to get out of harms way.
So why don't we listen to it?
Are we going to like the fool without any sense?
Remember the nose is our first line of defense.
THE MAN BEHIND THE GLASS
If you could see things through my eyes,
Maybe you could hear my silent cries.
I'm not asking you to lay down your life for me,
Just give up your scented colognes, perfumes, detergents, cigarettes and see.
See what it's like to be for a while.
Walk in my shoes mile after arduous mile.
It may scare you to death to feel the emotional, spiritual and physical pain.
You might even think you were going insane.
You might even lash out at GOD and wonder why,
HE did not let you just die.
You'd beg others to hear you out and wish they did not act like they had better things to do.
What if the tables were turned and it happened to you?!
You might say, 'That's none of my concern!'
Where in the scriptures did you learn?
'We are to weep with those who weep.
Be willing to lay down our life for our brethren.
And bare one another's burden.'
But does anyone really care?
You tell me is this fair?!
The man behind the glass sees what's in your heart by looking into your eyes,
He's sick of your excuses, rejection, fear and lies.
The man behind the glass may be you one day.
What then will you say?
Will you say, 'If only I had known?'
Or will you like me loudly groan?
Groan for other Christians to willingly cooperate without questioning why.
It can and will be easier if you try.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I understand that 20% of Americans have some kind of disability. Everybody should be open to dating someone with disabilities but, as with any relationship, should give it time to make sure the relationship is directed of God and will stand the test of time.
Male - Age Range: 41-50
I am willing to date someone with disabilities. I don't think any type of disability should stop someone from getting to know the person as a friend first and then see where it goes from there. I know some will put down they have a disability and all they have is something that is just a medical condition that is being treated by medication or can even include diabetes or epilepsy. I have epilepsy but am just as smart as most people but because of my condition I am now on medication and on a disability pension. I have stopped driving for now until my medication works properly for higher speeds. I also have a type of arthritis that just makes me stiffen up faster in certain spots of my upper body which may fuse my neck at some time if I don't keep it moving properly. I have had no problem making friends or having ladies to date. I think we look at someone with disabilities as someone that might have a problem that will affect having a relationship with. A disability can be anything, sure some are worse than the others keeping the person having it from doing a lot of things we normally take for granted as easy to do. You can get hurt in an accident while working or driving and end up having some kind of disability after. We never know when we might end up having a disability and even having glasses or not being able to hear in one ear or both ears is a disability and of course being blind.
I think as Christians we should be willing to date someone no matter whether they have a disability or not. We sometimes end up missing out finding that special someone because we are only looking for someone who will be best for us and don't think that someone with a disability just might be the right person for us.
michaelpault:
Male - Age Range: 51-60
You may use my alias.
First I believe that each person has a unique series of preferences to which they are entitled.
There is nothing as personally unique as choosing a life partner.
Since we are here, most of us have already chosen a partner poorly.
I would say that no one outside of our selves can tell us who to choose, not choose, or why. Nor does anyone have any right to judge your spiritual maturity for doing so.
We each have our own nature, which God has put uniquely into us. That would include those people situations activities, skills,....etc to which we are most powerfully attracted.
To pretend otherwise and be thusly tyrannized by anothers OPINION of what is correct would simply lead us down the road of another bad choice.
...............
I do think that most of us judge too quickly, make the mistake of being influenced by superficial standards, and fail to note that beauty, sensitivity, spiritual substance, success, intelligence take on many forms which we may not be skilled at noticing.
I've been retired after a wreck 12 years ago. To me, it's every womans right to find that acceptable or not, just as I have my own standards.
God bless you in your search! :) Mike
Male - Age Range: 51-60
To date someone with a disability requires a lot of CHRISTIAN LOVE, and RESPECT. 'In Christ, I can do ALL things,' said Paul. And if you were to marry that person, DON'T FORGET, 'In sickness and in health, til death do us part.' So where is the LOVE if you walk out on a relationship because of a partner's disability???
Male - Age Range: 61-70
Persons who have had a partner with disabilities in a previous relationship enjoy an advantage (assuming it was a healthy relationship) when it comes to initiating a new friendship wih similar conditions. Such a person can be more sensitive, understanding, caring, and supportive of the disabled person. A person should be made aware of the disablity early in the frendship as an act of courtesy. Then he/she can determine if it is manageable within the relationship. Some can manage it; others cannot. Honesty demands that one be truthful to the other. It is deceptive to reference the disability only after the relationship has deepened. And it certainly does not lessen one's standing as a Christian if he/she decides this is not the direction to take. After all, to be a Christian demands that we be honest; not just accommodating.
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