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Red Flags
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New!
OCT-10-05
9:45:4
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Red Flags
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Submitted Anonymously
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After reading through the red flags articles I would like to comment on items I found, I am not picking on just one persons comments.
"2 or more divorces. Could be a sign of a lot of things, especially if every divorce was always the other person's fault." I have been divorced "2 or more" myself, and yes it was my fault, only in that they where not Christians. But yes it was their fault beyond that. They cheated on me with fellow workers. Lets not base more than 2 divorce's as a flag. This from someone that is divorced themself and looking for #2, what's wrong with that picture?
" my ex has run into women who don't want to date him because he has a good relationship with me.. so go figure." First off the bible is pretty clear about divorce, if your spouse is cheating you are free to remarry. It does not say get married then get divorced and have a good relationship with your ex while at the same time trying to find someone else to marry. It just shows a lack of respect towards your possible future spouse. Let the kids if there are any have their visits and discuss their important stuff, but keep it to that. Let go and make room for the next.
"Another red flag are women (lets call it people) who don't like pets." Lets face it, most people that have pets, from my own experience, will put the pets before human contact. In most cases the pet sleeps in the bed, dirties the house, see what happens if a man shaves and misses some hair when he cleans up, and whines like a spoiled child. They refuse to function unless they have some pet to give them some abnormal feelings of love and being wanted or needed. Try finding a spouse and treat them as you would your pet and most would likely live very happy lives together, buy them some paw slippers to help you get through it.
"One big red flag is somebody in my denomination looking for that special someone outside their denomination." Since the person stating this is a Seventh-day Adventist, I will focus on this denomination. What most Adventists do not realize is that there are many groups with the same core beliefs as them, keep the 10, the food laws, Christ and a spirit of love to name a few. Scripture is clear that more than just Adventist's will make it into the kingdom, so lets not judge based on denomination but core values. No where does scripture say only marry those that have every nit picky thing you can think of in sink.
And finally "Does he leave the toilet lid up". Women are big girls, I think they can manage to put the seat down on their own, after all they do not raise it after their done for us guys :)
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New!
OCT-6-05
21:34:37
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Red Flags
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Submitted Anonymously
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One thing I think may help in really knowing who it is that you are relating to, is not to tell about some of the real important things to you in your profile. It may even help to ask a leading question that allows the person's true opinion to come through so that they are not mirroring you and saying what they know you want to hear. This is something to watch out for. I want honesty, but it can't been clearly seen especially from a distance. I think having a double standard or a different rule for you than for them in anything is a red flag. A fear of sharing true feelings, by asking YOU all the questions should be a sign that it's time to turn the same questions around for them to share a bit of their own input.
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New!
SEP-30-05
18:57:16
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Red Flags
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Submitted Anonymously
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I think a big red flag for me is when the guy never asks me anything about myself, and only wants to talk about himself. Most guys I've come into contact with are naturally self-centered(no offense guys). I like to listen, but I like to feel important and cared about at the same time. That's how I'll know when it's the right "one", because he'll want to know all about me. That still hasn't happened yet.
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New!
SEP-28-05
11:31:0
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Red Flags
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Submitted Anonymously
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Red flags for men seeking women:
1) Women who do not take care of themselves. Exercise, seeing a doctor, keeping healthy; if she does not practice these while you are dating, she will not later in life. Your mate has the responsibility of ensuring she lives as long as you do.
2) Unmotivated parenting: Make sure the person you are dating is motivated (with the same values you have) to rear your (future)children in the same manner and with the same enthusiasm/drive/motivation you have. Otherwise, YOU will be saddled as being the "bad guy" because you are more stringent than your more passive mate. NOT GOOD!!!!
3) In-laws: ensure your girl has a good relationship with her parents, and make sure the (future) in-laws have a good relationship with you. When you marry, you are closely linked to these people; any issues these people (her parents) have with either of you will be difficult to deal with when you have children. Choose wisely, my comrades! Failure here is not an option!
4) Money: DO NOT date or marry a woman who has never worked for a paycheck and is clueless as to the link between A) your sucky job which you faithfully attend monday thru friday B) everyday living expenses and C) the bills that come in the mail due to spending sprees. A woman who appreciates your money APPRECIATES YOU!
5) Last red flag - man-hater jokes, slurs, comments: if a woman shows direspect for men in general, chances are (and the chances are good) that she will not respect YOU after you are married [trust me, I know]. From the abundance of the heart, guys! We guys want our women to respect us; if her idea of respect revolves around jokes about how stupid or lazy we are, find someone else.
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New!
SEP-21-05
17:41:17
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: Red Flags
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PATZ
Male
41-50
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I will say that too many differences and not enough commonalities spell T-R-O-U-B-L-E!!! I really steer clear of women with anger management problems amongst some of the other "red flags" already mentioned in this post.
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