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When to Meet?
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New!
JUL-20-04
8:3:30
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: When to Meet?
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Submitted Anonymously
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I think that the sooner you meet the person the better it is for both of you. Until the meeting, most of what you are told is yet to be seen. However, if you are honest with each other, that takes away from the shock and/disappointment of the initial meeting. I met a great guy on this site, he was honest and straightforward in telling me what he looked like, so that when I met him, I was not shocked. We were able to have a wonderful meeting and he was amazed that I accepted him in spite of the way he looked. I told him that because he was honest, I was willing to deal with his character and not focus on his physical appearance. As a matter of fact we are really good friends and have so much in common and mutual love and respect for each other. Whether our relationship progresses to something else is beside the point, I have made a great friend and the more time we spent with each other, the more there was to like about him.
You have to be safe online do not divulge too much personal information in initial meetings, and it pays to ask lots of questions. Anyone who keeps changing their story or is not straight about issues such as marital status, kids, religion etc., is hiding something. Always be in tuned to your intuition, if you feel something is not right then it probably isn't. Ask quetions and then ask them again a few days later. I have eliminated a lot of "bad" matches because I came right out and asked questions. Most importantly, read the profile of the person with whom you are corresponding and pay attention to the section that says PREFERENCES. If you do not meet their criteria even though you are communicating- move on and save everybody the headache of another failed online relationship. This is one of the reasons I think this site is so great, because I am able to immediately assess the compatibility of potential matches by reading their profiles.
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New!
JUL-14-04
16:28:22
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: When to Meet?
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Submitted Anonymously
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Well till I felt comfortable meeting someone and trustd them then I wouldn't meet them. I've never met anyone from this site(1st day here). I have met somone off the internet that I met at a christian singles chatroom. I tok my parents with me and meet at a public resturat. I would suggest double dating with your trsted friends till you feel comfortable going on adate wih the person you met online alone. You can never be to careful. The person I met was exacly the same as he was when we chatte. I'm glad I me him.
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New!
JUL-7-04
10:46:51
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: When to Meet?
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Submitted Anonymously
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I feel that if 2 people correspond through this site and begin to chat, or IM one another, they need to meet as soon as they can.
I recently met a man from here and we had IMed each other for several months and talked on the phone. I wish we hadn't, Because with IMing one can "edit" too much and present themselves as the "best person" they "want" to be. It ended up that I was not interested while he "fell in love" and then proceeded to berate me and blame me. I was very sorry that it had to be that way but he is now blocked from my email. I feel bad but if it isn't to be then it just isn't.
I knew in the pit of my stomach that he wasn't "the one" and followed that. and he got mad.
Oh well, I pray for him and wish him the best anyway.
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New!
JUL-5-04
7:19:29
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: When to Meet?
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Submitted Anonymously
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I would like to comment back on a few of the comments. The person who wrote they wait a year to meet so they can get to know someone, anyone can be anything that anyone wants through email and phone calls. That does not allow you to REALLY get to know someone unless you have two completely honest, well-balanced, upfront individuals and most people put their best foot forward without even trying to. Plus unless you meet, you can’t tell if there’s an attraction to begin with.
Why have it be any different than if you met at church. Write, make phone calls and then meet ... see if there is anything there to pursue. If you met someone at church you wouldn't wait to see him or her again for any length of time. You would go out to dinner, movies, walks ... or whatever you enjoy and get to know them. Why should it be any different with this medium? Yes, it makes it more of a challenge because of the distance but having time one on one is still a vital part of the dating process and if two people exclude it, you may have two individuals very surprised later to find they are married to someone they are not compatible with.
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New!
JUN-29-04
16:15:1
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Forum: Christian Singles Member Surveys
RE: When to Meet?
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Submitted Anonymously
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I wrote an article about this topic for another site.
When to meet depends on how comfortable you feel with the person. Talk on the phone first. I copy and paste all emails exchanged into Word so I can refer back to them. It he seems to change his mind on topics quite often, then I wonder if he is lying to me.
When you meet for the first time, meet at a public place. Have a safety person (friend, family member) call you about 45 minutes into the date. If you are uneasy, you can use the call as an excuse to leave without hurting any feelings. If things are going ok, then tell them you will call them back. DO answer the call. Your safety person might get worried if you don't. I let my daughter know where I am meeting the person as well.
Make a list of things you have in common, things you like and things you dislike about the person each time you meet. If the dislike list becomes longer than the like, then it's time to move on or give in on some of the dislikes.
Most people spend more time thinking about a job and researching the company than they do a date. A relationship should be forever.
Hope this helps. Good hunting and God bless.
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